It’s not all running and DMB-ing up in here.
Sometimes a girl’s gotta get herself cultured. And what screams culture more than Atlanta’s historical Fox Theatre and… Fantasia Barrino?
A couple weeks ago Mom and I made a routine trek to the Fabulous Fox in midtown to see Fantasia… yes… that Fantasia… star in the stage rendition of Alice Walker’s classic, The Color Purple. And yes… Mom and I were two of the 10 caucasian’s in the sold out audience. But let’s not mince words here. It was PHENOMENAL. I always thought Fantasia was a pretty annoying person on American Idol, but she is on point when it comes to live theatre. Her portrayal of the lead, Celie, was brilliant. Seriously… this was one of the absolute best live performances I have ever seen. I bawled like a baby and rolled with laughter.
If you’re not familiar with the story, you can read synopses on your own time. For now, I want to share how the story of a poor, uneducated (and raped and beaten), black woman relates to little ole me. Because it seems it’s a story more about recovering from a crappy situation in the most unexpected ways. Maybe it’s not what your circumstances are. We all go through tough stuff. Live’s got its hardships, its challenges… and it’s manifested differently in every person’s life. But the situations aren’t what’s important. Rather, it’s how we react to those situations, how we choose to overcome, how we find our inner strength.
Throughout the production, I found myself screaming inside for Celie to stand up for herself, to harness some strength against her opressors by running away in the night, slapping someone silly, anything! Rather, she continued to persevere and just TAKE all the abuse, all the hardship. David beat Goliath, why can’t Celie just stand up for herself?! But then it dawned on me that the reason David beats Goliath is not brute strength. He doesn’t harness some ethereal power to overcome his situation; but rather humility, patience, perseverence and love for something outside himself. Celie as well was not an outwardly strong character. She can’t just all of a sudden pretend to be strong to succeed. Rather she patiently yet tenaciously perseveres, shows strength of spirit and never gives up on the idea of love. She can only overcome by using the talents she does have to better herself. And only by focusing on her passions, pushing herself to her limits to create success, is she able to realize that true inner strength and finally heal from her starkly wounded past.
What the hell does this have to do with me? We all have obstacles to overcome. We all have run into a mountain that seemed impossible to climb. We’ve all been hurt, some of us cut to the very core with heartache or hardship or setbacks (or all the above). For a long time I had no idea how to climb over the mountain in my own life. Recovery and healing seemed too distant, too difficult to harness and reach. Yet it seems once I stopped focusing on trying to heal… once I stopped forcing an absent strength to appear… I could start to move forward towards healing. Once I redirected my emotion into another passion I was able to push myself to truly discover who I am and what I am capable of.
My redirected passion has been running. I’ve always been a runner, but since my life changed drastically in 2007, I took on running with more of a vengeance. Four marathons and countless half marathons and training runs later, I realize that pushing myself in this capacity has allowed me to gain emotional strength. As I push my body, making my quads burn, my heart rate fly and my feet ache, I not only increase my capacity for mileage, I increase my capacity for love and my endurance of spirit. Focusing on something outside the suffering in my life (much like Celie focused on her business to support herself) has taught me enough about myself that I can heal from that very pain.
It is truly humbling the way God speaks to us… the lessons he uses to teach us and the ways he heals us. There is no more burning bush. There are just gentle lessons that can only reach us when we are humbly open to seeing love all around us. The title “The Color Purple” references a theme of the story articulated in a conversation Celie has with her friend Shug. Celie has tried so hard to see God before, to heal and understand her plight, that she’s never actually noticed God. As Celie laments her state of utter despair, she glances out to a nearby field and among fields of brown she sees a flowering plant of bright purple. She says, “Well, us talk and talk about God, but I’m still adrift. Trying to chase that old white man out of my head. I been so busy thinking bout him I never truly notice nothing God make. Not a blade of corn, not the color purple…”
Which leads to a conversation between Celie and her friend…
Shug: More than anything God love admiration.
Celie: You saying God is vain?
Shug: No, not vain, just wanting to share a good thing. I think it pisses God off when you walk by the color purple in a field and don’t notice it…
I’m finally able to count my blessings, to feel God has taken my sufferings and allowed me to use them to better myself – to become a strong runner, a confident woman. All because I finally opened my eyes to see the color purple all around.
