I learned many a valuable lesson today:

1) Staying in bed instead of going to work is sometimes a good idea. Because when you go to work, you could end up in a huge mess of a traffic jam on normally fluid highways, causing you to be an hour late anyway. Thankfully I work for people that don’t care that I am late. Correction… they would care if they knew, but thankfully they are always a lot later than I. SAFE. Also on the upside, said traffic jam was caused by a stalled bus… full of prisoners. The real lesson today? –> There is nothing as entertaining in the morning as seeing 20 policemen on the highway with sniper rifles.

2) After accidentally eating it 3 times this week, Firehouse Subs is officially the bomb-dot-com. So much so, that if it were around back in the 90s I can fairly say Monica Lewinsky would have made a different decision about what to put in her mouth. [Too far?]

3) Dave Daniels rocks. A friend passed his cd along to me. I love it. Good ole Georgia boy singing about southern blues, whiskey, pretty girls, GA red clay and other things that fill the southern senses. Check it or… not. I’m really digging “Belly of the Beast.”

4) The jar of peanut M&Ms in my mom… er… boss’ office will be the death of me. Especially now that I don’t have the addiction of facebook to turn to when trying to avoid stressful work. Enter stress eating as a diversion tactic.  Wonder what Dr. Phil would say about that? Hmmm… “Girl gets fat from quitting facebook.” I could make headlines everywhere.

5) The lady that walks up and down the street in front of our office building has a great story. Adam and I decided that today. We’re not sure that talking to her would be the best way to learn said story, so we’re going to create it for her. “Her” who shall hereafter be known as “Boobina” due to her incredibly large boobinas. Adam thinks her chest is so large because she used to be a pole dancer. I think it’s a husband’s lottery winnings decision gone awry. More on this some other day…

6) Magnolias are the best tree ever. They are blooming everywhere around Georgia right now. Not only are they gorgeous, but they kick ass in a “I’m the epitome of southern charm, grace and poise” kind of way. And the “I will seduce you with my southern drawl then punch your lights out for being a dirtbag” kind of way. In a weird way, I find magnolias sexy. Surely Georgia O’Keefe and Freud would have plenty to say about that. [O'Keefe... who painted flowers and magnolia blossoms that oddly resembled (ahem... what's the opposite of phallic... bathing suit parts-ish?) female body parts.] In my next life, I want to come back as a magnolia. Or a cat. Because spending your life napping and being pet probably rocks too.

Ok enough randomness. It’s time to go home. I’ve worked entirely too long today. LD out.